Wow what a week! It’s been unbelievably crazy. I have had 5 auditions in the past 7 days! This never happens! I even had one for a lead in a big budget (for Australia) feature film! Crazy! It’s also been K’s birthday and there is nothing I love more than spoiling her on this special week. Unfortunately this has meant I’ve not gotten any work done, and my wallet is looking a little thin! But the most exciting thing is that I told my mum about this journey to parent hood! It was scary! If you knew my mum you’d understand! This was done over the phone as we live in different countries. It was Sunday afternoon and I was trying to catch up on work I should have done during the week. I’d promised my therapist that I’d tell my mum before I next saw him and I was running out of time. He’s trying to get me to be more assertive with all aspects of my life. It really was a spare of the moment thing. I’d tried calling her twice over the last couple of weeks but she hadn’t been home. This weekend was also the 1st anniversary of my nanas death and I knew she’d be feeling a little down. I just had to do it and not think about what negative response i was going to receive.
At first there was silence..nothing….just air! Then her come back remark…”what am I going to tell him (my father)?”. It’s only natural of her to think of the negative, and i knew that would happen, but I tried to make it a positive in her eyes by say this is something exciting for us all. It worked…she is excited. She emailed me this morning to tell me to keep me posted on the progress and when I replied to say nothing will be happening now till September she seemed disappointed.
I know she’d love to be a grandmother and my brother certainly won’t be giving her any grandkids, so this is probably something that will make her very happy. I did it though…I told her and it kills me that it’s so hard! It shouldn’t be this hard!